Redemption (Created)

[Sarah]

Redemption (Created)

Sometimes I want to kill myself.
I don't want to cry anymore,
And I don't want to stop the bleeding.
I don't think I can watch as my eyes turn red.
Always looking for some companionship,
Even casting my eyes to god.
Now I know that to god I'll be,
Nothing ever more than thee.
I'll take this blade,
Scrape my wrists before I go to the gallows.
I'll take this match,
Light the stand on fire.
There's release in the flame,
And loss hangs in the noose,
But within the blade hides redemption.
I look away from the skies,
Convincing myself all I heard was lies.
I can't stare at the ground,
Knowing that's where I'll be when the body dies.
All those times I let you look through me,
I hold on to as my own accusations.
The only reason I let you treat me like glass,
Was so I could try to make things pseudo perfect.
But now I've fallen to corruption.
I'm a victim of my dead devotion.
I'm learning absolution.
I've conjured my demise.
I dream of the end,
And washing myself with my tears.
I shall become clean of this world.
I search for love and compassion.
I blow a kiss to you and wave goodbye.
Find a priest for my last rites,
If you think I deserve them.
I call to him,
Your Saviour.
But all I can hope is not to hear,
"Depart from me, I know you not."


by:Esau on www.darkpoetry.com

[Sarah]

Suprisingly... I feel this way quite often. And I try to hide it, I fake that I'm happy, and it hit me today that I do fake it... I told a friend that something I didn't think was all that ok, was indead OK, and he asked me if I was ok, and I couldn't answer him. Which left me with that (^) feeling, which I have over come time and time again, to only have to face once again. Although, I know I'll be ok, the question always effects me even if I do think I'm ok, and when asked that I always want to cry, but can't... sometimes... I just don't understand, and that seem to be the only thing I can do. lol.

Thank you for letting me say my peice.